Jesus wept.

Luke 19:41-44 ESV

“And when he drew near and saw the city, he wept over it,saying, “Would that you, even you, had known on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes.For the days will come upon you, when your enemies will set up a barricade around you and surround you and hem you in on every side and tear you down to the ground, you and your children within you. And they will not leave one stone upon another in you, because you did not know the time of your visitation.”

Jesus stood on a hill above Jerusalem. He was walking toward the city. The city where He would be falsely accused, unjustly convicted, beaten, humiliated, and murdered. He looked down on the city, fully aware of what was to come.

And He wept.

His face was contorted in anguish, tears streamed from his eyes, sobs ripped from His throat. The King of the universe stood in the dirt and dust on a hill over looking the city, awaiting His imminent suffering and death and He saw the future, saw the pain of the people of Jerusalem, and He wept for them.

Mathew 23:37-39 ESV

 “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing! See, your house is left to you desolate. For I tell you, you will not see me again, until you say, ‘Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.’”

Jesus stood teaching parables to a large crowd, confronting them on their hypocrisy for teaching the lesser parts of the law with their mouths, and not honoring God with their hearts. He cried out to the large crowd in compassion, seeing their sin and the way they had turned their backs to the Father, wanting to gather the children of God together as would a mother.

Exodus 34:6-7 ESV

“The Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands,forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”

The God of the universe declares His character to Moses that he might share it with all of Israel and the world.

Seven times He declares His compassion and love, once declaring justice. He promises love and forgiveness for thousands, compared to the punishment only to the fourth generation.

John 11:33-36 ESV

^“When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.”Jesus wept. So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”

His friend dead, those He loved crying for their brother and friend.

Jesus wept.

Often times we think of God looking down from heaven in anger. Angry at our mistakes, wanting to punish us. Maybe we picture the earthly father we had, yelling at us, maybe even abusing us. We picture God as this maniacal, sadistic, tyrant dealing out punishment left and right.

This is not the God I serve.

The God I serve stood on a hill weeping for those who would kill Him.

The God I serve wants to gather together His children as mother would.

The God I serve defines His character as merciful, loving, and forgiving.

The God I serve weeps at the death of His friend and the pain it causes.

One day God will bring justice. There will be justice for all those who are too stubborn and prideful to admit their guilt and who refuse the forgiveness of Christ. There will be punishment for the wickedness of the human heart. But even then, I don’t think the Father will enact this punishment with joy, but rather with a heart filled with sorrow at the rebellion of His children.

Maybe your like me and sometimes you think God is looking down on you in anger.

I would suggest that maybe He is looking down on us with sorrow. Maybe He is looking at all our sin and foolishness with compassion, wishing only to gather us to Himself and heal our hurting hearts and renew His creation.

Maybe the King of the universe is looking down from heaven and weeping.

Autumn

Autumn is my favorite.

Everywhere there is life and death mixed into a beautiful collage of emotions, memories, and hope. The leaves turn color and die in a blast of life. The world produces all sorts of fruits and vegetables to enjoy before the bleak winter. The air is cold and each breath awakens my heart to search for purpose and love. I drive and listen to soft sad music that fits the scenery and makes me happy. School starts and the youth of this generation are forced to give up their euphoric summers and strain to fill their minds with knowledge for the hope of their future. Some days it rains and the whole world is a grey blanket of mystery as I hide in layers of clothes as a child would hide under the covers on a cold night. Some days the sun leaves a blue tint in my eyes reflected off the frost and I am reminded of the hope yet to come.

And all of this proceeds the death winter brings.

More than anything, I love autumn because it is a picture of Jesus.

Death in our world is inevitable. Winter brings excruciating pain, struggle, and remorse. Yet it was through Christ’s death that we receive life. Autumn fills me equally with both despair and hope. I know the struggle is not over. There is rampant selfishness, hatred, injustice, greed, and evil of all forms. And yet their is hope. Death reminds me that I need Jesus. My faith is in the fact that He conquered death. And I know that He is coming, that He is the King and He will redeem and restore all things and bring justice and love to the earth.

So I have hope for the winter.

the.HOPE.of.a.PESSIMIST

I don’t mind admitting it, I am a pessimist. If we were to just view the world logically I might call myself a realist, but we all know what that’s code for.

I think we all wonder what makes a person an optimist vs. pessimist.

In my own life there are multiple things I could blame the bent of my personality on; a rough childhood, broken relationships, loneliness, lack of success…we could all make lists, some more depressing than mine.

But really, I think my pessimistic view is drawn from a deep desire for reality, or what you could refer to as truth.

When you look at the world logically, when you weigh the facts of humanity’s depravity against the American dream and all of our egotistical faith in our own ability…well that leaves the choice of an idealistic mindset or facing the unpleasant truth.

I want the truth, even if it kills me.

I don’t believe in the lies society offers, no matter how eloquently wrought they may be, whether science supports their religion that they so deceptively call fact because of well researched guesses.

Look at creation. God’s word says that when we look upon all the immense beauty and infinite detail He created, that we all know our creator is real. It may be buried beneath years of dirt and dust created by lies and poor choices, but you know its true. I don’t have to convince you God exists, you already believe it.

And so do I.

I may be a pessimist, but that deep desire for truth, for something real, for hope and courage and faith and love, and grace for humanity has forced me to search for an answer.

I know your searching too.

And I believe I have found the answer, or better put, the answer found me.

You already believe in God. You already believe in some immensely powerful deity who desires perfection, who designed creation, who made you in His image, who will bring justice and goodness and true love to the world.

The questions is, who?

My Hope is in Jesus Christ.

You will never find another religion in which God died for you. You will never find another religion where you can’t earn redemption. You will never find another religion where the creator God wants to enter into an intimate relationship with you.

We all believe in something. Not everything can be explained, therefore we are forced to draw conclusions based on experiences and our perception of reality that are impossible to prove.

My pessimistic view of reality has led me to accept humanities depravity and to search for the cure, and the only cure I see is in Jesus.

I believe that Jesus Christ was the incarnate Son of God. I believe that He stooped to earth to live a selfless life and die for humanity’s sin, and in doing so, revealed the character of God. I believe that humanity’s only hope lies in the free gift of salvation and redemption offered through the selfless death of God’s only Son on our behalf. I believe that any who call upon the name of Jesus with a repentant heart and believe in him will be saved from this present age of suffering under the weight of evil, injustice, and our own selfishness.

My Hope is in Jesus Christ.

If nothing else, I hope I have encouraged you to think through your beliefs, and I hope you have a better understanding of mine.

I started this blog to share who I am and what I’ve chosen to believe in.

I would love to converse with any individual who is interested in better understanding Christianity, I can be contacted at cody.alan.bannon@gmail.com.

Never stop seeking the truth.